Themes & Variations Series
by Aphreal42
Summary: This is an ongoing series of unrelated X-men stories. All of them were inspired by various songs, but otherwise they have nothing in common. Rogue and Gambit are prominent in all of them so far.
1. Desperado

Disclaimer: The characters used in this story do not belong to me, and I am not making any money from their use. The X-men belong to Marvel comics, and no copyright infringement is intended. Desperado belongs to the Eagles, as far as I'm concerned, no matter who else redoes it. I'm just borrowing the lyrics for this story.

Desperado

The morning was every bit as dull and grey as Rogue's mood. If she'd woken up to a bright, sunny daybreak, it might have been enough to override the melancholy that had set in the night before. But the thick, drizzly cloud cover was the perfect setting for her to wallow in it, which is exactly what she was doing. Wearing comfortable beat-up jeans, a favorite thick sweater, and of course the omnipresent gloves, she was curled into a chair, staring morosely out her window at the lethargic raindrops listlessly dropping from the sullen sky. 

Somehow, for reasons she couldn't formulate or completely understand, everything had come to a head the night before. She's been sitting on the couch with Remy, carefully keeping her distance despite his instinctive attempts to cuddle, watching a sweetly romantic comedy, and the futility of it all just hit her like a tidal wave. Well, actually it had snuck up on her in the form of a sulky withdrawal into her own thoughts, and once her subconscious had brooded over it sufficiently, it had hit her like a tidal wave. The more the movie went on, the less attention she found herself paying to it. She didn't need a stupid flick to remind her some people were happy and could have normal lives. She didn't need the mockery of Remy sitting there watching it with her, pretending they were some kind of normal couple. She didn't need the whole charade of their "relationship," now that she thought about it. What was the point? What was he trying to prove with this? Why was she playing along with his idiotic game? The questions gnawed at her, distracting her enough that she missed the rest of even the fairly simple plot of the stupidly cheery movie. By the time the credits started, complete with some vapidly optimistic love song, when Remy turned to her with the most innocent comment, she couldn't even remember now what it had been, she'd exploded. She'd shoved him across the couch, a little harder than she'd really meant to, and ranted on the verge of incoherence for a few minutes as he stared at her with incredulous shock all over his face. She's asked him all the questions floating around in her head, offering no chance for answers or even for processing the requests. She'd berated him for how stupid he was, told him exactly how stupid she was, and added on how stupid the movie she'd barely been watching had been, just for good measure. She'd reached conclusions on the spot, hearing them as they fell from her lips, not caring if they went along with what had led up to them, freely contradicting herself in the flow of verbalized raw emotion. Remy had sat silently under this tirade, either speechless from her vehemence or simply unable to get a word in edgewise around her torrent. She'd finally ended with a repeated assertion of how stupid everything was, a declaration that she didn't want anything further to do with him, a command to leave her alone, and a hurried flourish of an exit. 

Remy was unfortunately all too used to these fits. Not to say that it didn't concern him a little, because it did, every single time she did this. He just contented himself with the fact that she would be okay in the morning, at least she always had been before. He calmly accepted that he would toss and turn for a while tonight as he tried to fall asleep, wondering if she really meant it this time, what he could do to keep from upsetting her like this, if he was doing something so terribly wrong as to warrant it, why she couldn't just accept the way things were for them. It was part of the price of loving her, something he was willing to pay because the good times made up for it and simply because he couldn't help but love her, fits and all. So Remy had gone to bed that night, lain awake for a while worrying about her outburst, and eventually fallen asleep, knowing that a night's sleep and a fresh day would set everything right again between them. 

Which is why, when she didn't emerge from her room the next morning, he began to be seriously concerned. Had she really finally meant it this time? Why now? What had he done to precipitate it that had been enough to make it so final? Was the relationship still salvageable? What could he do to save it? What more did she want from him than his complete devotion through all the problems, all the fits, all the insecurities and anger? What more could he offer her, could she expect anyone to offer her? Maybe all she needed was something to prove it all to her, some token or gesture she had to trust, something to get through her doubts. Nothing had been working so far because nothing was changing, and he wasn't sure what he could do now that would get through to her. 

A strange idea slowly drifted across his thoughts, so strange it was either brilliant inspiration or ludicrous idiocy, either of which he was more than happy to accept at this point. Detachedly bemused, he set out to find Logan and try it, figuring anything was preferable to just letting her brood. 

The hall was strangely silent; the only sound in the room was the soft patter of the slow rain against the window glass. Rogue rather liked it, the silence offering nothing to detract from the despondency she was willingly immersing herself in. Dull morning wore smoothly into dreary afternoon, and still she remained in her self-imposed isolation, pulling the dejection around her like a sodden blanket that only served to chill her further. She focused for a while on the absence of noise, almost pleased that the world had yielded and conformed to her mood. Then softly, she heard music begin in the next room. 

It was soft and familiar, one of those songs everyone knows and consequently no one really listens to. The poignancy of her thoughts, the stillness around her, something made her actually hear the words that she had always glossed over before. 

_Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? You've been out ridin' fences for so long now._

The voice was gentle, a sweet entreating drawl. Funny, she'd never figured Betsy for the Eagles type, but the music sounded like it was coming from her room. She was about to get distracted puzzling over that when the next phrase caught her hard and she was helpless to do anything but listen and feel. 

_You're a hard one. I know that you got your reasons. These things that are pleasin' you have hurt you somehow._

She'd never realized before how much he seemed to be singing to her...

_Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds, boy, she'll beat you if she's able. The Queen of Hearts is always your best bet._

Or how much that sounded like something Remy would say, finding cards in everything. 

_Now it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table, but you only want the ones that you can't get._

"That ain't fair," she muttered back at it. "Ah should be allowed to want..." But the soft, soothing voice and piano went on without waiting for her to finish. 

_Desperado, you ain't gettin' no younger. Your pain and your hunger are drivin' you home. Freedom, oh freedom! That's just somethin' t' talk about. Your prison is walking' through this world all alone._

Without even realizing she was crying, Rogue felt a tear trace its way down her cheek. She'd never wanted to admit that. All her walls, all her hardness, building up her independence was just bricking up the walls that kept her in that prison. 

_Don't your feet get cold in the wintertime? The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine; it's hard to tell the nighttime from the day. You're losin' all your highs and lows, ain't it funny how the feelin' goes away?_

The tears were coming freely now, a release from the passive numbness that had held her all day. 

_Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?_

She had heard no one in the hall, but there was a soft click of a latch turning, and her door began to swing slowly inwards. She turned her head to protest the intrusion, but her voice wouldn't come through the tears. Besides, she knew who it had to be, and he wasn't intruding. He was saving her. 

_Come down off your fences and open the gate. _

It opened the rest of the way, and Remy stepped into the room, letting the door swing shut behind him. 

_It may be raining, but there's a rainbow above you. _

One look at the emotion in his eyes, and she knew it wasn't Betsy's music after all. 

_You better let somebody love you..._

She didn't know how it happened because she didn't even remember standing up, but she found herself wrapped in his loving arms, crying softly against his chest. His hand gently stroked her hair, and she could feel his cheek pressing against the top of her head as he cradled her against him. "Remy," she whispered, tracing one gloved finger down his cheek and neck, "thank you." In response, he just tightened his hold on her, and she thought she felt his body trembling along with her slowly calming choked breaths. 

_Better let somebody love you...before it's too late_. 


	2. Ah Will Survive

Disclaimer: The characters involved in this story are the property of Marvel comics, and I'm only borrowing them for entertainment. No money has been gained in the creation of this story, and no small animals were harmed either. The song "I Will Survive" doesn't belong to me either, and I apologize for misusing it. The lyrics appearing in this story aren't completely accurate; this is the way they appear in my head, despite several people's attempts to correct that.

Further Disclaimer: This story was developed/inspired during a weekend containing too much '70s music, too little sleep, and a few really psychotic dreams involving an ex. The writer, therefore, cannot be held accountable for this story and completely disclaims any responsibility for its content. 

Ah Will Survive

It had been over a week since the team returned from Antarctica, but things definitely weren't as normal. For one thing, Gambit obviously wasn't around. On the other hand, even though he was supposed to be away with Betsy, Warren was around a lot, trying to touch base and establish a balance for his gyrating life. Jean and Scott were understandably self-absorbed after their narrow escape. Rogue was the worst, though, completely withdrawn into herself, oblivious of her surroundings, even including Joseph's protective hovering. 

After a week of such brooding, Rogue suddenly surfaced from her semi-catatonic depression. One morning, she emerged from her room vibrant, cheery, and completely unwilling to discuss the cause of her recent melancholy. It was almost as if he had ceased to exist for her. She flitted brightly around the mansion, chatting blithely with Storm, helping care for and cheer Scott, and responding to Joseph's constant devotion with what might be described as coquetry. Storm, distrustful of this sudden change in her friend, tried to ask about it, but every time the conversation got near Gambit, Rogue became withdrawn and reticent until the topic moved elsewhere. The rest of the team learned to avoid mentioning him in her presence, and she quickly returned to her normal spirited self. Until she found a most unwelcome guest waiting in her room one evening...

She'd spent a pleasant afternoon out by the lake with Joseph, basking in Ororo's good weather and Joseph's adoration. Her spirits were high and a warm glow filled her body and heart. Her soaring lightness crashed and an antarctic chill cut into her as she opened the door to find him lounging casually on her bed, a rakish grin on his face. Her body began to tremble, and she heard a voice come from her mouth without her direction, breaking with shock. "Remy?" The quaver in her tremulous voice and the triumphant gleam in his smoldering eyes sent a burst of fury through her that reforged the strength in her spine and erased her confusion. "What are you doing here?" she asked icily, lips distorting into a snarl as she bit off the words. 

It's funny the things that go through a person's head at times like that. As she watched his face go from smug amusement to calculated charm, Rogue wasn't thinking of the things she'd learned from his trial that had made her so angry. She was actually focused on song lyrics that kept randomly floating across her stream of thought. 

_find you here with that same look upon your face._

"Chere, I came back t'ask you to change your mind," he began, charm beaming full-force. She'd always thought puppy-dog eyes had to be brown before she'd met him. "You know people dat done things can change. Please, Rogue, give me dat chance." Now he was trying to play her own past against her, a bluff she might have folded to if she didn't know as much as she did about his past. 

"You had ya chance, Gambit, an' ya blew it," she told him firmly. A look of shock crossed his face at this forceful response. 

_Did you think I'd crumble, think I'd lay down and die?_

"Chere, you gotta know how bad I feel 'bout what I did, how much I didn't wanna do dat. You been in my head," he persisted, still trying to pull her heart strings. 

_I'm not that helpless little girl that's still in love with you. _

"Yeah, Ah have been in yoah head, which is why Ah..." She broke off suddenly as a panicked thought struck her. If he realized she knew more of his secrets than she had told the team, she could be in danger of something more serious than a broken heart. Quickly, she stammered and tried to cover her slip. "Which is the only reason any of us know what ya did. Askin' forgiveness for somethin' ya couldn't even admit ya did." 

"Oui, couldn't even tell anybody because I hate it so much," he countered softly, knowing she'd pick up the implication that he hated _himself_ for it as well. When his pitiful silence didn't elicit any softening response from her, he continued. "Chere, I didn't jus' come back t'ask de team to accept me, and I don't care if dey do. I came back t' you. I love you, Rogue, an' having you's what give me the strength to get past it all." 

_I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong.._

She really wished she could believe that; it had been a nice dream, one she'd been sorry to let go of. But from after what she'd seen in his thoughts, she knew better. She was just an easy mark for him to prey on to have a good connection and defender in the team, and a weak spot back in as a precaution if something went wrong, which it most certainly had. "Ah don't think you know how to love, an' Ah stand by what Ah said before. If ya can't trust me, you don't really love me," she told him firmly. 

"Chere, you know dat's not how it is," he pleaded desperately. "Remember dat night in Antarctica, you without your powers an' both of us scared for what the morning'd bring? Dat was love, Rogue. Dat's what it could be like, what it should be for us." He was playing every card in his hand, and it wasn't enough. 

_Now I'm saving all my love for someone who's loving me._

He didn't know that Joseph had refined the Z'noxx chamber to give her the ability to touch him and that they'd shared several less intense and more meaningful experiences than that one frantic night. "That's what Ah have with Joseph now," she told him coldly. "Ah believe him, Ah trust him, an' Ah know that he ain't lyin' to me every time Ah turn around. You're outclassed, Gambit, so just let it go." 

She saw the look of anger that rose in his blazing eyes, quickly covered by a mask of pain. "I really mean so little dat you can jus' fall in de arms of de next man dat walks by?" he asked bitterly. 

_I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high._

"Ah spent my week of mourning over what we lost, but Ah got through it, an' Ah got over you, an' Ah moved on," she informed him calmly. "Ah loved you enough for it to really hurt, but not enough dat Ah don't realize when the image gets shattered by the truth. Ah really don't think we have anything more to discuss." She crossed her arms firmly over her chest and stared at him pointedly. 

_Just turn around, 'cause you're not welcome anymore._

"Dere's nothin' I can say or do to change your mind?" he asked plaintively. 

"No, Ah don't think so. You've already done enough." 

"I guess I'll just let myself out, den," he said forlornly, dragging himself off her bed and over to the window. She stood right where she was and watched him stonily, not even a hint of softening to give him an opening to pry at. With a long sigh, he slipped out the window and into the night. He skillfully avoided the security systems, leaving no trace of his presence except in the mind of the woman who stared silently at her window, only one coherent thought emerging through the maelstrom of her emotions. 

_I will survive!_


	3. City of Angels

Disclaimer: The characters appearing or referred to in this story do not belong to me. They are the property of Marvel Comics, and I've used them without permission but also without intent to profit or infringe on copyrights. The song lyrics used in this story likewise do not belong to me. They are the property of whoever it is that songs belong to. The titles and artists are listed at the end. 

City of Angels

Nothing. I see nothing, feel nothing, am nothing. There are only the voices, echoing in my ears and head. 

"What happened to him?"

"Fend for yourself. You seem to have done a good job of that in the past." *

Not anymore! 

"Unconscious or delirious, never lucid enough to know." 

'And I'd give up forever to touch you' 

I have, I would. Risk everything I have and am for a kiss. Life, trust, soul. Lost them all? Be willing to, but not like this. Offered it all, wouldn't mind losing myself in you, would know I was part of something decent that way. 

'You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be'

Been trying to stay on the side of the angels to be worthy of you. Best thing I ever had, better than I deserve. Demons came back and without you to save me, heaven ain't a choice. 

"Is there any hope?" 

Good question, wish I knew. Supposed to be hope as long as there's life. Need to know I have hope to be alive. 

'All I can taste is this moment All I can breathe is your life' 

I'm frozen, world's meaningless except your scent surrounding me. I feel your soft pressure, lips on mine, gentle, sucking away my energy. Can't breathe, too much work to make my lungs move. But I can't leave. Your touch keeps me here, holds me, sustaining, draining. 

"We can always hope, but he's out of our hands, I think." 

'Sooner or later it's over And I don't want to miss you tonight' 

Want to? Can't! Have I already? 

I feel your touch fading, and it's all slipping away. Not so bad really, maybe I deserve it. 

'And I don't want the world to see me I don't think that they'd understand' 

They already have seen, much as they're willing, and they don't understand. Won't even try. 

"And then you stood by my side, pretended to be my friend?!" *

Not like that, I've changed. Can't make him see what's in my soul, but you…

'I just want you to know who I am'

How else can I show you? You've seen it all if you would just look. I offered, and you ran. He made you see just the surface, you run again. Come back! I'll show it all, give you everything, risk it all. 

"You're honest with the people you love. You trust them." *

I offered you my soul, trust you with what I am, not just what I say. You can't believe what you know, much less trust to take the rest. That mean you don't love me? Hard to blame you for it, nobody trusts me. 

'You bleed just to know you're alive'

Am I? Don't feel my body, cold, numb, not there. Feel you, though. Always feel you. Softly touch me, drain me but not dry. Leaving me like this, suspended. Come back and finish what you started, take the rest of me. 

"It's all right. He does that sometimes." 

Save me or kill me, just don't leave me! Wait, come back, please… 

I can't feel the touch I clung to, and the scent's drifting out of reach. The empty nothingness is crushing down, suffocating with aloneness. Have to struggle, fight against it. I cry to you, maybe you can hear. I need you to listen. Save me…

"A few occasional words, some English, some French, nothing coherent." 

'Just want you to know who I am Want you to know who I am'

But you can't find out if you keep running. Can't run from me in your head. 

Scent is gone, touch gone. You're gone, and I'm lost alone without you. Voices fading, too, hazy and not all there. Think I hear a new voice, though, softly threading its way in. As confused, longing, and helpless as the expression in green eyes in a face as pale as white snow. 

'Like anyone would be I am flattered by your fascination with me' 

Okay, maybe it did start that way, so long ago and so much has changed, I don't know. Somewhere, though, it quit being a game and became my life. 

'Like any hot-blooded woman I have simply wanted an object to crave'

I think you want more than just that. Want to feel a body, sure, but need to be loved, too. 

'But you're not allowed You're uninvited'

You the one making those rules, though. Change them, let me decide what's worth the risk. Don't just cut me out, don't just leave me. 

"He's stable for now, but we can't keep him like this." 

Don't keep me like this! I can't let go till I know, but I can't hold on without hope. 

'Like any uncharted territory I must seem greatly intriguing'

No, it's not like that anymore. More than the thrill of the pinch, the challenge of getting the impossible. 

'You speak of my love like you have experience love like mine before'

Not exactly. Had lots of women, never loved any like this. 

'This is not allowed'

Someone has to be allowed to love you or you got a lonely life ahead of you. Let me be that someone. 

'I don't think you unworthy I need a moment to deliberate' 

Don't take too long, chere. Not sure how long I can hold on. 

Author's Note: 

Song lyrics (in single quotes) are taken from "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls and "Uninvited" by Alanis. Lines marked with a star (*) are quotes from UXM #350, although I confess to modifying the last one a bit to suit my needs. 

Many thanks to Kori and Greg for test reading and offering suggestions. This story would be even less coherent without their input, scary as that thought is. 


	4. Last Words You Said

Disclaimer: Rogue, Wolverine, Jubilee, and all other X-men mentioned in this story are the property of Marvel comics and are used without their permission. I am borrowing them with no intent to make money or infringe on any copyright laws, and I promise to give them back more or less unharmed when I'm done playing. All song lyrics used in this story belong to Sarah Brightman and are credited accordingly when they appear. 

The Last Words You Said

Rogue had finally given into Jean's not too subtle suggestion and offered to keep Logan company on the mall excursion he had promised Jubilee, who was visiting for the weekend. She had to admit that it did feel sort of nice to get out of the mansion on a frivolous social outing, something she hadn't done since her return from Antarctica. She had no idea how long it had been since she'd abandoned Remy in the snow, how many sleepless nights she'd spent haunted by the look in his eyes as she turned and flew away, how many times she had slipped away from the others at midnight and gone to search endless fields of snow only to return alone near dawn to cry herself to a few hours of sleep before awakening to go through the motions of training exercises and the emptiness of daily life. Time had become meaningless, and the days all blurred together into a mass of grief and self-recrimination. She had refused to speak of her pain to her teammates, even though she knew they could see it in her altered behavior. Still, if she admitted her feelings to them, it would be admitting her weakness and asking for forgiveness she didn't deserve. Sitting in the passenger seat of Logan's jeep, she stared out the open window and let the wind blow through her hair, trying to let it blow away all of her cares and give her at least a few hours of peace and escape. 

After a morning full of fitting rooms and playing dress-up with Jubilee, Rogue found herself sitting with Logan and Jubilee at a small table in the food court, picking disinterestedly at a salad. The fourth chair at the table was occupied by Jubilee's shopping bags, along with a couple smaller purchases Logan had made. Rogue herself had bought nothing, despite the eager encouragement from both Jubilee and the sales attendants. Her heart just wasn't in it, and every outfit that looked great on her just made her wonder what Remy would think of it. It was an old subconscious habit, and she hadn't been aware of it until Jubilee had convinced her to try on a knockout black velvet dress she had found on the sale racks. Admiring the smooth fit of the material and the way it caressed her body, she found herself grinning as she pictured the expression of surprise and open admiration that would hit his face if he saw her in this. Realizing what she was doing, she fled back to her dressing room to get the dress off as quickly as she could, flinging into the corner and fighting back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. She continued playing along to humor Jubilee, but her delight at each new outfit was short-lived as she asked herself bitterly who she was trying to impress and what it mattered. As a result, she had ended the morning of clothes shopping completely empty handed. 

Jubilee wolfed down the last of her waffle fries and announced her plans for the afternoon, including several shoe stores, a couple places for computer software, and a hit on the video arcade. Logan winced slightly at her list and suggested they split up for a few hours, mentioning a couple CD's he wanted to look for. Lacking the energy to keep up with Jubilee, especially after the huge volume of Mt Dew she had just seen the teenager inhale, Rogue opted to tag along with Logan to his favorite music store. It was one she was partial to as well, having a large selection and listening stations where you could put on headphones and browse through an assortment of complete CD's. She figured she could amuse herself that way while the others finished their shopping. 

Settling into an unoccupied chair, she slipped on the headphones and began leafing through the choices, trying to find something that fit her mood. She played through several songs, both new releases and old favorites, but none of them really managed to touch her, and she continued searching restlessly for something to occupy her mind. An unfamiliar title caught her eye, and she contemplated an album she had never heard of, Eden by Sarah Brightman. The name rang a bell, but she couldn't place it. With a mental shrug, she called up the CD, figuring that she might as well give it a try. 

The opening was light and mystical, a hint of nature sounds mixed with synthesized instrumental music and an ethereal soprano voice floating over it all. The combination was slightly otherworldly, and Rogue felt herself getting pulled away by the liquidity of the sound. It was soothing, and she felt herself relaxed as well as intrigued by it. Logan caught her eye just as the first song was ending, indicating that he was moving on to a different store. She gestured for him to go on without her, opting to enjoy the solitude and see what else this CD had to offer. 

The second song had a more modern feel and a male chorus underneath the soprano voice. Unlike the first selection, the lyrics were in English, and she found herself listening to them closely. One repeated line that caught her attention was a slightly wistful admission with a touch of regret. "I never tried to feel this vibration" _Never wanted to let myself feel anything, more like,_ she mentally amended it. _Can't get hurt if you don't feel anything._ The next verse started with a gentle, introspective question that stopped her train of thought like a head-on collision. "Did I ever think of you as my enemy" She had no answer she could give to that. She must have because she judged him and left him to die, yet did she truly hate him? Could she? 

As she pondered this, the next few songs blurred together with periodic lines jumping out to hit her unexpectedly. "There's only one thing that's confusing Was it you? Was it me?" _Hard to say, sugah. You started it, Ah ended it, but is that really how it went?_

"With so many questions unanswered Was that part of your mystery?" She smiled bitterly, remembering the appeal of that enigmatic smile, the lure of the stranger wrapped in secrets and an irresistible aura of mystery and danger. 

"Any one emotion, any true devotion Anytime, anywhere" The words were a soft chant, blending into soaring Italian that made no sense but moved her anyway. The emotion in the voice spoke to her heart. Words were secondary to its meaning. Closing her eyes, she let the voice carry her away and flew along with it, finding an unanticipated catharsis nearly equal to soaring through the clouds. After this, the music returned to English, a song with words that should have been sad and a tone that somehow didn't feel it. 

A familiar melody with flowing Italian lyrics began, and it took her a moment to recognize a translation of "My Heart Will Go On". The clear voice and liquid words returned the passion and grandeur that had been stripped from the piece by numbing overexposure, and she found the song stirring emotions like it had the first few times she had heard it. Cold, freezing faces from Titanic drifted through her mind, and she shoved them away brutally, not wanting to go where those thoughts might take her. Despite its beauty, she was almost relieved when the song ended and she no longer had to fight the feelings it was stirring within her. 

The next song was less graceful and tragic, slightly more energetic and hopeful. "Deliver me, out of my sadness" _You always were the one who could make me smile and feel relaxed when Ah needed to, especially when Ah didn't want to._

"All of my life I was in hiding" _Still am,_ she responded with a mental snort of annoyance. 

The music melted back into foreign songs full of emotion and beauty. She lost herself in the combination of music and voice. One piece in French brought the beginnings of tears to her eyes, even though she barely understood a word of the language. 

Just as she had gotten used to the soothing music and soft, gentle, meaningless words, lyrics began intruding on her again, along with a somewhat more forceful beat and tone. "I see a shadow every day and night" The tone of empty desperation resonated in her, and she bowed her head, letting the song flow over her. Phrases jumped out and caught her unexpectedly hard, evoking thoughts and images she didn't want to deal with. She wanted to move away but couldn't bring herself to break the emotional connection. "Was there a moment when I felt no pain? I want to feel it in my life again" She longed for her simple childhood, before she became a monster and life got so complicated and empty. "Oh I want you here with me" Her heart echoed that aching plea, followed by a flash of bitter self-recrimination, reminding her whose fault it was that she was alone. 

Mercifully, the song ended, melting into a bittersweet air with no words. It calmed and eased the pain in her heart, and she let herself get lost in the flow of the music, releasing the tension and relaxing. She let go of the tattered shields she had been struggling to hold around her emotions and surrendered to the feeling of peace. Contentedly, she floated through the next song as well, enjoying the drama in the voice and the open, flowing feel of the Italian lyrics. After the swelling crescendo at the end, she felt satisfied and at peace, completely open. 

A simple reed intro led into the soft gentle start of the final song. "Somewhere in time I know, darling you'll come back to me. Roses will bloom again, but spring feels like eternity." She was a bit surprised as, for the first time, a man's voice lightly joined the soprano on the next line, a soft emphasis beneath it, the gentle pain in their joined words stirring at her heart. "In your kiss it wasn't goodbye. You are still the reason why" A dramatic swell in the instrumental accompaniment led both voices into the first chorus. "I can hear you whispering in the silence of my room. My heart still surrenders like the sun to the moon. I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly." Their voices were full of wistful longing and pain, and she felt herself echoing this. She let her head fall forward as the voices died off at the end of the chorus. "Love me now forever were the last words you said to me." 

The soprano started the next verse alone. "And when the morning comes" The beautiful clarity of her voice was made more poignant by the fact his had abandoned it, and Rogue felt a surge of hopeful relief when the baritone joined in on the next line. "My hands still reach out to you." The pattern repeated for the next phrase, but it was less mournful now that she trusted him to return. "Some things remain the same. There is nothing I can do." The empty longing in the next line filled Rogue's heart, and she found herself closing her eyes tightly against the tears. "I can barely get through the day ever since you went away." It was true, and she knew it, feeling the pain she had tried to keep locked inside start to work its way out as the chorus repeated, desperate but beautiful. "I can hear you whispering in the silence of my room. My heart still surrenders like the sun to the moon. I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly. Love me now forever were your last words to me." 

Instead of dying off, the last phrase swelled into a plea of hope, and Rogue felt herself echoing its sentiments as the tears started to escape. "Heaven help us cross this endless sea with starlight above to guide you to me. Waves crashing on distant shores They're calling our names forever more." 

Suddenly alone again, the soprano's clear voice wistfully began the chorus. "And I still hear you whispering in the silence of my room." Strength flowed subtly into the music as he joined her again, reaffirming the bonds of love and loss that held them together. "My heart still surrenders like the sun to the moon. I can barely stand this aching burning endlessly." The tears were flowing freely now, although she hardly noticed them, their wetness a physical sensation vaguely brushing at the periphery of her awareness. "Love me now forever were the last words you said to me." The voices ended softly together, and the instruments faded away, leaving a feeling of contended faith. 

Opening her eyes that had been closed against the tears trickling through her lashes, she peered down through the veil of hair that had fallen across her face. A familiar pair of worn boots met her gaze, and she wondered how long he had been standing there. Certainly long enough to see the pain and force her to share it with someone. "Ah have to find him, Logan," she whispered through the tears in her throat. 

"I know you do, darlin'," he responded softly. "And you will."


End file.
